the christmas card i made for my landlady. she's got 2 kids.
Tuesday, 12 May 2015
i've been a bit hard up for money recently, so have been trying to come up with some money making ideas. they say 'necessity is the mother of invention', but i think being poor and wanting cool stuff can definitely be yo momma too.
anyway, i was inspired by the film 'office space' - basically a film about trying to get out of doing work for a living, which really spoke to me for some reason - and one of the characters keeps holding up the idea of the 'pet rock' (if you don't know, the 'pet rock' was basically some guy who started sticking eyes on rocks and selling them to idiots) as the pinnacle of human invention, and all the characters in the film are making fun of him for this, but i really think he's on the right track here.
there are lots of glitches in the system and they're definitely always worth investigating.
as such, i have come up with the idea of 'DIRT BABIES!' ©
(the 'c' thing means you can't steal this).
it will be a shitty children's toy that they'll hopefully force their parents to buy by being brats about it.
i'm basically just going to stick eyes on a load of dirt and sell it for money, but this is why i think it's a good idea and will probably work:
- 1) kids like dirt.
- 2) you can make the dirt different colours so they'll be more collectible.
- 3) the dirt will probably fall apart if handled too much, meaning parents will be forced to constantly keep buying new 'DIRT BABIES!' © so they don't face the wrath of their loved ones.
- 4) people say dirt will be dangerous for children, but i'll be using regulation safety dirt so there won't be a problem.
- 5) it's good for the immune system.
- 6) they'll be really cheap to make... cheap as... well, yeah, you're not an idiot.
- 7) i've put 'baby' in the title because babies are cute apparently. also they'll have really big eyes (not too big though - i want to keep production costs down) so you're distracted from the fact they're just lumps of dirt .
- 8) i'm going to write a really catchy 'DIRT BABY!' © jingle for the advert (or just steal that one 'wheatus' did in the 90's about being a teenage dirt bag baby) and maybe make a 'DIRT BABY!' © saturday morning cartoon to help brainwash children so much that they'll start screaming my product's name in their sleep and then the parents will have to buy it.
- 9) lonely-adult-nerd-men will also start buying just simply because they like collecting things.
- 10) people will buy what i tell them to buy.
as you can see, i was struggling a bit to come up with 10 points, but don't let that put you off the 'DIRT BABY!' © hype train - all aboard! (whoop! whoop!)
here are some 'DIRT BABY!' © prototypes i've been working on. you'll notice i've put the photos through instagram to make them more appealing to morons.
so my sister got married earlier this year and i was in charge of doing the invites, so i made this.
at the reception, my aunt came up to me and told me how much she liked the "owl" and "the other thing" i'd drawn, at which point i had to tell her it was a picture of a sloth hugging a pug - (the sloth is meant to represent paul, the groom, and my sister is meant to be the pug - you see, kids! this is exactly what happens when you start messing about with symbolism).
i still took it as a compliment because like most artists, i'm desperate for any type of positive feedback, but also because i had already come to terms with my artistic limitations a long time ago.
i guess some artists make their things look like the things they're supposed to, and i guess i'm the other sort.
Friday, 2 May 2014
so a couple of months ago i got quite angry about aquaman for some reason (can't remember why - probably just some passive aggressive thing), so i did this, but i didn't think it was very good, so i've been keeping it from you. sorry about that.
hope you like garish colours.
Friday, 18 April 2014
so i had an idea for a computer game, but it turns out they're quite hard to make, so i might just make a music video instead.
the idea was that you start off in a computer and there's weird glitch monster that's destroying your world, so you start trying to defeat it, but as you go on, it becomes more and more apparent that the glitch is actually an antivirus and you're the virus, and by trying to save your world you're actually destroying the operating system you're living on (or the universe). at the end when you beat the antivirus, it resets your computer.
not entirely sure how i will convey all that in a music video though.
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
Monday, 3 March 2014
so i feel a bit bad because i've kind of neglected this blog a bit (sorry about that. i usually make stuff when i'm depressed, but rather annoyingly, i've been pretty happy over the last few months), and i was going through some old stuff and i found this music video i attempted at uni. the sound is bad, some of it is out of sync and for some reason premiere went a bit weird when i rendered it, but you get the idea.
unfortunately i've lost the files i used to make it, so i can't make it any better.
so this is it... this is as good as it gets.